he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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