I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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