Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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