physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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