i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
