So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
