I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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