Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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