what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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