After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
