I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
