why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
