So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
