Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
