My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
