I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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