She said her name was "party"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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