can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
