Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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