Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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