well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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