Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
