Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
