so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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