It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize