It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
