No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
