In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
