By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
