I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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