why didn't you poke me back
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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