At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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