he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize