you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
