so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
