youre lurking in front of me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
