Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
