The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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