i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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