John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
