I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
