There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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