There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
