The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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