i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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