Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So squirting runs in the family.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
