You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
did i just pee glitter
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize