nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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