hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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