Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

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  (813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. http://tfl.nu/9dyn
  Replies (22) Good night (4678) Bad night (689)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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  (541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc
  Replies (24) Good night (7418) Bad night (814)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ugly people sure do ruin things

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  (214): ugly people sure do ruin things http://tfl.nu/4ggc
  Replies (33) Good night (1137) Bad night (3304)
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  (949): View more from California

  You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.

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  (949): You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food. http://tfl.nu/pk8x
  Replies (22) Good night (3775) Bad night (926)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night

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  (202): i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night http://tfl.nu/pk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4790) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (973) Bad night (6638)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3308) Bad night (1064)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.

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  (630): I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy. http://tfl.nu/cb6u
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (2777)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.

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  (208): I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in. http://tfl.nu/ba7z
  Replies (13) Good night (4335) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

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  (571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq
  Replies (8) Good night (2728) Bad night (986)
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  (415): View more from California

  just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.

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  (415): just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover. http://tfl.nu/scdy
  Replies (6) Good night (3313) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1638) Bad night (2108)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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  (520): At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget. http://tfl.nu/wj00
  Replies (6) Good night (315) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!

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  (513): Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton! http://tfl.nu/r6h6
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.

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  (337): Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again. http://tfl.nu/azre
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (467)

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