Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6163) Bad night (937)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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  (781): I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing. http://tfl.nu/7fgj
  Replies (17) Good night (5981) Bad night (1431)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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  (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can. http://tfl.nu/eowl
  Replies (16) Good night (5579) Bad night (1319)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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  (630): It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table http://tfl.nu/i2oz
  Replies (25) Good night (1555) Bad night (4273)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?

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  (330): Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch? http://tfl.nu/ae8u
  Replies (6) Good night (3276) Bad night (1079)
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  (619): View more from California

  Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.

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  (619): Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time. http://tfl.nu/4w7h
  Replies (21) Good night (2792) Bad night (1344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.

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  (215): If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life. http://tfl.nu/9g40
  Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (664)
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  (661): View more from California

  I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.

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  (661): I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love. http://tfl.nu/wt93
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (750)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night

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  (306): I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night http://tfl.nu/ov8q
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (856)
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  (510): View more from California

  Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

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  (510): Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves. http://tfl.nu/hxwa
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (291)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever

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  (251): I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever http://tfl.nu/l3up
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (528)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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  (315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (350)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

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  (843): If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick. http://tfl.nu/pvhu
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (174)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.

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  (229): I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady. http://tfl.nu/zna4
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (140)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.

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  (570): I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this. http://tfl.nu/4rte
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (291)

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