Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?

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  (315): 2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win? http://tfl.nu/n991
  Replies (33) Good night (5064) Bad night (600)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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  (708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (1965)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

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  (412): on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on. http://tfl.nu/nsc2
  Replies (20) Good night (5548) Bad night (871)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

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  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4311) Bad night (960)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.

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  (+61): It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination. http://tfl.nu/nbvv
  Replies (3) Good night (2913) Bad night (828)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2848) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised

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  (336): Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised http://tfl.nu/n641
  Replies (10) Good night (2091) Bad night (684)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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  (773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df
  Replies (6) Good night (1759) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

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  (434): On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/gml1
  Replies (5) Good night (1044) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?

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  (940): Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork? http://tfl.nu/nrj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1120) Bad night (455)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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  (817): And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?" http://tfl.nu/ufhu
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.

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  (+44): Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/vcvu
  Replies (0) Good night (868) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

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  (309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.

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  (502): So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted. http://tfl.nu/vsby
  Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

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  (310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand. http://tfl.nu/cp6v
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (181)

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