Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  my vag is so smooth its legendary

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  (949): my vag is so smooth its legendary http://tfl.nu/kijd
  Replies (35) Good night (4710) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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  (631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui
  Replies (50) Good night (7183) Bad night (1836)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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  (518): I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room. http://tfl.nu/qe4u
  Replies (22) Good night (6630) Bad night (984)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

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  (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth. http://tfl.nu/f5s8
  Replies (116) Good night (6693) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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  (516): he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time. http://tfl.nu/8o43
  Replies (22) Good night (5320) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3471) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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  (206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1926) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW

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  (319): 4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW http://tfl.nu/z9cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1776) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

  (646): View more from New York

  LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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  (407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

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  (586): I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science. http://tfl.nu/0s8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1402) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public

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  (248): About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public http://tfl.nu/nrsv
  Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.

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  (631): You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high. http://tfl.nu/qikm
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...

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  (204): Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"... http://tfl.nu/0fub
  Replies (5) Good night (1019) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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  (816): Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question. http://tfl.nu/xpn9
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (247)

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