I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me