Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..