I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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