There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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