Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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