Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize