how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
