ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
