So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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