he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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