I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
