We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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