Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My penis needs a shock collar
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
