The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
