Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
