I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
