Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
