On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
